Hi, I’m Leslee, and I’m a cisgender, queer, white, twenty-something, Jewish, American woman.

I use these labels to identify who I am in the space of our society. I belong to each of these communities – I find solidarity with other Americans, speak the cultural language of my religion with other Jews. I recognize the privilege being one of the majority as a white person in this country; I stand with my fellow LGBTQ folk as members of a vibrant minority. I flow in and among these communities every day.

Until recently I never thought about the fact that I’m a part of another community – that of women. I was assigned female at birth, and have identified as female all my life, so I took this status, this community, as a given. I’ve only realized in coming of age as an adult that my identity as a woman is hugely important to who I am, and I embrace this.

That said, I’m still figuring out what it means to me to be one of the community of women. My identity as a woman was largely formed through interactions along the lines of society’s gender binary – meaning, I’ve been a woman because I’m not a man. My gender identity was crafted through seeing what I’m not, or what I’m not supposed to do or say or act like. If man is the ‘self’, I have been the ‘other’. I was someone who used to say, “I’m not like most girls,” and “being friends with guys is so much better,” because I didn’t want to be ‘other.’

My journey toward the rabbinate (I’m studying to be a Jewish clergy person) has led me to reflect deeply upon the many layers of my identity and upon the many communities of which I am a part. I want to learn more about what it means for me to part of the community of women, just as I continue to explore what it means to me to an American, a Reform Jew, a queer person, and more.

Recently I attended the International Women’s Day Dinner at Xavier. This is the second women-focused event (the first was Why We Stay – check out the article that my colleague Judie Kuhlman and I wrote here) I’ve had the privilege of attending through my job at the Brueggeman Center for Interfaith Dialogue. I got to learn so much about crafting a community of women, as a woman, from the amazing panelists who spoke.

Quanita Roberson specializes in trauma healing, leadership development, equity education, and African American Spirit Coaching in her work around the globe. She spoke of women’s power as coming from a place of softness, which runs contrary to our usual associations of power with hardness. Softness, I learned from hearing Roberson speak of her experiences, is powerful because its vehicle is compassion. Compassion drives us to accomplish and to connect, and this is how we foster community.

Ligia Gomez is a full time faculty member in the Romance Languages and Literature Department at the University of Cincinnati, and works in the Cincinnati community in roles that include chair of Apoyo Latino:  Greater Cincinnati Latino Coalition, and founding member of the Latino Health Collaborative. Gomez spoke about her experiences as one of many local Latina women who crafted their own community, built through individual connections and collaborations, wherein these women find friendship and support. I learned from her that strong communities may be formed organically, and that small acts of reaching out can have a major impact. Gomez told the crowd the story of when she wanted to create a new program within the University to meet the growing need she saw, but was met with resistance. By crafting a demand for the program through passing word around, Gomez inspired me to see creative ways of working within a system to accomplish goals.

Sylvia Jepchirir Chemweno is a student at Xavier with plans for medical school, and also serves as a board member of Community Action Day, Student Government Association Senator, Interlink peer mentor, member of interfaith cabinet leadership, African Students Association Secretary, and the Women’s Retreat Team Leader. She spoke about her experiences growing up in Elgeyo-Marakwet County in Kenya and the systemic inequality present for women in education. I saw from Chemweno a thorough integration of her faith, her feminism, and her goals. She portrayed herself in an absolutely authentic way that we may all aspire to reach.

Each of the tables in the audience had a pile of blocks on it. We were invited to build with the blocks as we were inspired to do so.  Each of the 7 women around my table contributed to the structure we ended the session with. We collaborated, without judgment or pretense or pressure, and built something together. At the end of the session we were invited to take a block with us. I treasure the blue bridge-shaped piece I chose. This block reminds me of the importance of my identity as a woman to who I am, and to engage with and connect to the communities of women around me. I am blessed with opportunities to grow and cultivate communities through my work, and I shall take what I have learned from this dinner with me as I move forward into the rabbinate.

Written by Leslee Estrada

First United Church of Christ hosted Rabbi Rami Shapiro on Monday February 22nd. Rabbi Rami Shapiro discussed inter-spirituality and how each religion addresses what it sees as “the essential problem facing humanity.”  Rabbi Rami looks at each religion promoting its own solution as THE Solution to common human problems.    For Hinduism, the approach is to understand and solve Ignorance; Judaism it is Exile/Alienation; for Buddhism it is Dissatisfaction/Suffering; Christianity; Brokenness/Sin and for Islam it is Willfulness/Pride.  Rabbi Rami suggests that we can recognize that each faith has a wisdom that we can benefit from.  There is common ground when each of us at some point in our lives must face ignorance, alienation, dissatisfaction, brokenness, and pride.  Rabbi Rami sees the new missionary in an inter-spiritual world not as someone who is ready to convert others to their religion and their solution, but one who can help others see the benefits of all the Others’ solutions.  Rabbi Rami views the diversity of other religions as “unique expressions of God.”  Once we can accept that there is diversity in religion, we can find love.

From Rabbi Rami’s experience he has found the most impactful dialogue happens in small trusted interfaith groups.  When these groups work properly, they can establish safe spaces so that each other can connect and share their deep religious and spiritual insights and not just the good side, but also the dark side.  They address difficult topics and issues so that as a group they can help each other find wholeness.  Exploring the areas of conflict and division is difficult and can be uncomfortable, but it can be done with great trust.  There are texts in our sacred traditions that are not pleasant, and we do not need to hide from them.   When we can openly discuss these areas, the walls that once existed can be taken down and we find ourselves in a very unique space with our neighbor.  This is a very holy space.  In this holiness, we can feel the deep connection we with one another that goes beyond space and time.  We need to be honest with ourselves and ask if  we can truly overcome our own feelings of fear and uncertainty in order to find this precious space.

There are unexpected moments that break through when your heart is open to receiving.   As we grow and expand our understanding of one another, those break through moments can go beyond one’s own religion giving us new insights to our own faith.  Rabbi Rami mentioned an experience that he had with the Perpetual Virgin, The Mother of all the Living, one night while he was on a retreat.  This experience made a profound impact on him.  The experience opened him up to see a new appreciation the many images of the divine feminine found in our faiths – Eve, Mary, Sophia, Wisdom, Shekhinah, Kali etc.  Speaking about an intimate moment is quite amazing because it is not easy to talk to someone of another faith about personal spiritual experiences.  You are not sure if the Other will be offended or whether they will trust what you are saying.  It is a risk, but it could be an amazing experience.  

Interfaith intimacy is just this.  It is sharing personal human conditions, feelings , experiences, uncertainties, and frustrations with one another in order to help each other grow deeper.  An inter-spiritual being sheds the fear and anxiety of intersecting with “Other” possibilities, and allows for an open heart to the great mystery of many religions, allowing the divine dwell in you to navigate you through the unknown.

               My family is religiously eclectic. I am in the midst of my studies to become a rabbi of the Reform Jewish movement. My wife is in the process of converting to Judaism. Her family is Mexican Roman Catholic in origin; my mother-in-law attends mass every day if she can. My mother, a Jew-by-Choice of 26 years, raised my siblings and I in the Reform Jewish denomination. My sister and brother recognize their cultural ties to Judaism, but are largely areligious. My mother’s family is German Baptist; my godparents are Baha’i.

And when we get together during the holidays or other important family events, our meals, our conversation, our protests, and our laughter, instill a sense of belonging around our table. We find amongst ourselves many differences and many commonalities, all of which served to unite us rather than divide.

I see the same trends at other interfaith events that I attend. The event entitled Why We Stay, held back in September, I consider to be similarly successful. According to the surveys submitted by participants, the women’s interfaith event met a need in the community for conversations about religion, across religious divides.

I’ve noticed that interfaith events we consider successful have 3 key elements:

3. Trust

I postulate that we each already hold a sense of trust for the others around the table when we come together for these events. We trust that our loved ones would not invite to the table individuals whom we could not trust ourselves. And so the inner barriers we all have inside to keep the “other” on the outside were permeable.

At Why We Stay, the participants with whom I sat expressed to me a sense of relief and safety to be able to be in company of other women of faith who want to talk about the roles of women in religious community and the challenges they face, even across faith traditions. They inherently trusted the intentions of the other participants to join with them in honest, open dialogue.

2. Time to Mingle

I have also attended interfaith events that absolutely tanked. When I was in Hebrew High, my congregation’s teen religious school program, we visited a church so that we could meet their teen religious school class. I am ashamed to say that I, like my fellow classmates, spurned the initial attempts by our Christian peers to engage in conversation. We didn’t feel comfortable in the new environment to start these conversations, and we knew that if we could hold out for 15 minutes, the organized programming would begin. We did not have the trust necessary, nor enough time to mingle.

The social element of an interfaith event cannot be understated. Virtually no one will remember the content of the presentation verbatim – but we’ll remember how pleasant the conversation was with the kind Buddhist gentleman who sat next to us at the event. We’ll remember that the 7th Day Adventist woman we met by the drink table is from the same home town. These social connections forge within us positive associations that take an interfaith event from ‘good’ to great.

1. Focus

That being said, an interfaith event must have a focus in order to be successful. Only mingling will not create the lasting impact that our best interfaith events achieve. There must be a focus, a main point around which we rally. At Why We Stay, it was the roles and experiences of women in faith communities, through the lens of the Faithfully Feminist book and its authors. I sit on an interfaith panel once every two months in Joplin, MO, and for each panel we convene, we panelists focus on a particular topic. Last weekend, the topic was:  one holiday from my tradition, and what it says about my tradition. Previous topics include:  misconceptions about my faith, life cycle events, origins of my religion, etc. Even in my home, my “interfaith events” are centered around enjoying ourselves as a family.

Each event needs a focus. Now, 5 months after Why We Stay, we are thinking about another possible women’s event. What shall our next event’s focus be? If you have suggestions, please submit them to us at interfaithcincy@gmail.com.

On November 19, AJC Cincinnati Chapter along with Xavier’s Brueggeman Center for Dialogue hosted their 15th Annual Diversity Lunch entitled America’s Table, celebrating our diverse roots and shared values.  Many were on hand representing various traditions, organizations and faith backgrounds.  The community gave thanks in prayer, shared a meal together and expressed their own family’s journey to remind us all of the very first Thanksgiving meal.  The AJC invited guest speaker, Dr. Lakshmi Sammarco who was elected Hamilton County Coroner.  She was the first female coroner and Asian Indian ever elected to a political position in Hamilton County.  She is a board certified neuroradiologist and attended University of Cincinnati.  Dr. Sammarco shared her journey as an immigrant to the United States from a small village in India.  Her life story exemplified the hard work and support from her family as well as the opportunities she sought out in her community.  One important aspect to this year’s lunch was the addition of table talks.  The luncheon provided a safe environment to discuss important issues concerning the Syrian Refugee Crisis.  With more than 4 million refugees from Syria relocated to just 5 countries, it is time to ask what is our country doing?  What can I do?   Each table discussed the current political climate of accepting refugees into our country, how Cincinnati can support immigrants and impact of the non-profit identification cards for the immigrant population.  The final topic covered bullying in light of the adopted Chinese girl, Emilie Olsen, who committed suicide because of race/ethnic bullying at school.  These topics may be sensitive, but well needed dialogue in our community.  As the community expressed in unison, “Many of us were immigrants and refugees from all regions of the world, fleeing afflictions of poverty and oppression.  Drawn by the promise of a better life, we chose America and she took us into safe harbor.”

For more information or continued dialogue please contact AJC Cincinnati Chapter.

On September 20, 2015 over 100 women and men gathered to participate in the symposium entitled:  “Why We Stay:  The Changing Role of Women in our Faith Communities.” The four-hour event filled the Sunday afternoon with meaningful and inspiring interfaith dialogue.

At “Why We Stay,” participants listened to six brilliant panelists describe their faith background, their feminist identities, and the challenges they face. Rosemary Radford Ruether, Judith Plaskow, Amy Levin, Gina Messina-Dysert, Jennifer Zobair, and Amina Wadud represented the Jewish, Christian, and Muslim faiths well in their learned, passionate dialogue from the panel. Participants were able to engage in Q&A sessions with the panelists. The highlight of participation occurred in the table-based discussion groups. Attendees sat in dialogue in one session with members of their own faith group, then later, in interfaith groups. Each group pondered prompts such as:  can you be a feminist and an observant Christian, Muslim, or Jew; What are your struggles and strengths concerning observance within your own community; what is being done to overcome challenges and move forward?

The panelists were featured in the event because of their participation in the book Faithfully Feminist, a compilation of writings by Jewish, Christian, and Muslim women about their individual experiences. To learn more about the book and the event panelists, go to www.faithfullyfeminist.com.

Thoughts from Judie Kuhlman and Leslee Estrada on “Why We Stay:”

Interfaith Cincy website managers and fellows at the Brueggeman Center for Interfaith Dialogue at Xavier University

Judie: 

When I think about my faith, I have to start back to when I was a teenager and when I realized that God was not off in a far away, untouchable place.  As a teenager going through many struggles, I once prayed to see a shooting star.  For on that same night, I was awaken in the middle of the night and told to go to the window.  I opened the curtains and saw a beautiful shooting star reaching across the midnight sky.  For some reason, through the spirit within me, I made a wish.  Why?  Maybe…because I was a hopeful teenager?  I made a wish and asked God for someone to love me the rest of my life.  I felt so silly that I made that wish because I was not interested in dating anyone.  I tried to forget about it.  But a few years later when I was in college at Notre Dame, I met a guy.  He just so happened to share the same Chemistry lab drawer with me.  He was my lab partner.  He was silly and goofy looking, so we became friends.  A little while later, he asked me out to one of the dorm dances (actually it was his roommate that asked for him because he was too nervous).  When he walked me back to my dorm, we had our first kiss that night.  And above his head, was a shooting star!  I felt so sick that I wanted to vomit.  I could not believe it because by that time I had forgotten all about that wish I had made back in high school.  I knew, seeing this star, that there was a beautiful mystery of God that knew my thoughts, hopes, and dreams.  A few years later, my husband proposed to me by the lake where we would always talk.  After he proposed to me, looking up at him, again, there was that beautiful shooting star reaching across the sky.  It was the shooting third star.  There was no doubt in my mind what I had seen.  My stars represent Faith, Hope and forever Love.  This was the beginning of my dance with the Lord.  This is why I stay.

For me Catholic spirituality has led me deeper into my dance with the Lord.  I have learned a rich spirituality through the lives of saints and mystics like Teresa of Avila, St John of the Cross and St. Francis Assisi.   Though praying the rosary and meditation on scripture, I have found a deepening sense of self and found a deeper calling to justice and service towards others.  Being able to over come doubt, shame, fear and so many other life illnesses was through my faith in sacraments like the Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation.  This is why I stay.

I found my true love through the gateway of my religion.  My faith is what I hold on to when there is nothing under my feet.  My faith is that confidence in asking to see that shooting star, or recognizing God that surrounds me in that gentle soft breeze across my face, or when I call upon God’s love and that white butterfly dances around me when I mourn my father’s death.  

My faith has led me to be a better mother to my children.  My faith has helped me to navigate through the pressures of our culture.  My faith has led me to be more compassionate and understanding through my reflections of Christ.  My religion has taught me love and mercy.   My faith has given me the ears to hear what those around me are saying.  My faith has led me to be a more open and loving person towards others.  My faith has allowed me to see the beauty of others in their own faith journeys.  This is why I stay.

There are times that I must confront my faith and ask the deeper question of why I stay.  I am challenged when I see my faith community cause harm by our words and actions or when we turn the other way when their brother is in need.  These are the scars on my heart and the cross that I carry.  Yet, I do dream of a church without a ceiling and the pews facing forward with my three shooting stars above my head and my neighbor and husband sitting on either side of me.  God loves and calls for us to love one another.  The God I know is one that keeps me awake at night then sends me out in the morning to serve others.   The God I know hears the hurt, the shamed, and the marginalized and calls us to action.  My God challenges me to show others why we should stay and to seek peace and justice while transforming those around me.  I hear that voice asking me – Do you hear what I hear? Do you see what I see? Do you know what I know? This is why I Stay.

Leslee:

As I study to become a rabbi in the Reform Jewish tradition, I spend a lot of time navigating the space into which I fit my spirituality, culture, values, and feminism – all of which intertwine as I continue to form my identity as an adult. My growth in identity has been greatly aided by the study of Jewish texts. The wisdom of my forebears guides me toward my own wisdom.

“Why We Stay” reminded me of an excerpt from Talmud, Sanhedrin 17a:

‘Rabbi. Johanan said: None are to be appointed members of the Sanhedrin [court made up of leaders of the community], but men of stature, wisdom, good appearance, mature age, with a knowledge of sorcery [so as to be able to detect those who seduce and pervert by means of witchcraft, cf. Rashi], and who are conversant with all the seventy languages of mankind, in order that the court should have no need of an interpreter.’

This text, dating to sometime around 500 CE, highlights several key characteristics that the rabbis thought would make for a better leader. With a critical modern eye, I glean from this text several important lessons that parallel my experience at “Why We Stay”:

·       “Men” are mentioned as a given in the text, but not as a defining characteristic. The defining characteristics of the leader begin in the text with the word “stature.” I often struggle with the androcentric language of my tradition, and of the world around me today, but I find that there is space for women, for me, in the language. Sometimes the space is easier to find; sometimes, I have to read the word “men” as “people.” At “Why We Stay,” being able to use the term “women” over and over again (especially in a positive light) was a refreshing change of pace.

·       Wisdom, good judgment (my interpretation of “stature”), maturity, and experience are traits that the panelists of “Why We Stay” embodied. So too did the participants that I spoke with at the event embody these traits. I was very grateful to engage in conversation with several special women and men at the event, whose stories and ideas expressed to me that wisdom, good judgment, maturity, and experience are accessible to all. Indeed, these special people have inspired me in my growth of these characteristics.

·       The “knowledge of sorcery” and ability to speak seventy languages are not to be understood as literal characteristics, even within the context of the original writers. Rather, both characteristics speak to the ability to intrapersonal intelligence. We should value the insight it takes to communicate effectively with others, to understand the motives behind their words and actions, to model honesty and transparency. “Why We Stay” gave the participants access to space unfettered by social pressures and ‘niceties’ that block free communication. Open, frank, heartfelt dialogue flowed at the discussion tables across the religious, cultural, socioeconomic, etc. boundaries that usually divide us. Women and men spoke; women and men were heard.

As I read to the end of the passage from Talmud, the same question sprang to my mind as did from many of the participants who filled out surveys at the end of “Why We Stay.” We ask:  what now? We have this experience and this insight – what can we do with it? My colleague Judie and I have tossed around ideas for how we can utilize this website to answer such a question. We would like to dedicate a section of this website for interfaith peoples to discuss the reasons why they stay. What are your thoughts on such an endeavor? Please leave comments, or email us at interfaithcincy@gmail.com.

Tri-State COAD is a web work of community organizations of faith-based groups, voluntary organizations, civic clubs, social service agencies, emergency management agencies and governmental agencies.

The purpose of COAD is to strengthen communication, cooperation, coordination and collaboration with the many member organizations that have resources to provide before, during and after a disaster.

COAD is under the umbrella of the National and State VOADs (Voluntary Organizations Active in Disasters).  COAD is active for the regions of Cincinnati, OH area, northern Kentucky and southeastern Indiana.

The mission statement for COAD is “To assist the people in the tri state area to recover from any disaster through mutual communication, cooperation, coordination and collaboration from members of the COAD”.  (COAD website)

There are 5 committees to help prepare organizations and the community for a disaster:   Education and Training, Spiritual and Emotional Care, Resources, Social Media and Public Affairs and Finance.

Donations can be made to help give relief during disaster recovery.  These donations can be made on the COAD website, tristatecoad.org, using PayPal.

Currently, there are about 200 member organizations of COAD.  Examples of different members are American Red Cross, Episcopal Diocese of Southern Ohio, Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, Planning Development Services Kenton County, Clermont County EMA, Catholic Charities, United Way, Vineyard Community Church, Lutheran Disaster Response, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Hamilton County EMA, Southern Baptist Disaster Relief and St. Vincent de Paul NKY.

As each organization joins, a form is filled out with the resources that the organization can bring to the table to assist with the disaster and long term recovery.  Examples of needed resources are: food, sheltering, feeding, volunteers, animal sheltering, furniture, repairs/maintenance, clean up.

When disaster strikes, the world falls apart for all involved.  Homes and possessions are destroyed.  Lives are totally changed.  As members of Tri-state COAD, a difference can be made.  One helping hand will become many helping hands.  Volunteers and resources are made available to aid the survivors in anyway.  One tear wiped, one hug given, one shovel with many cleaned out a basement, one hand fed a child and one pet is loved.

This is Tri-state COAD, many “one hand” help lighten the load.

Tri-State COAD website- tristatecoad.org

Gmail- tristatecoad@gmail.com

Facebook- Tri-State COAD

Twitter- @tristateCOAD

There are two things I have found most amazing in Cincinnati.  The first is that individuals of different faiths are coming together for a common good.  The second most amazing thing is seeing these groups begin to work together to build a stronger city.

For the past eight months, through the support of the Brueggeman Center at Xavier University and Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, we have been observing how interfaith work functions in the city of Cincinnati.  We have seen a variety of groups that have come together.  Each of these interfaith groups that we have found in Cincinnati are unique and serves a unique purpose.   We have found groups working together to feed the hungry, to shelter the homeless, to defend worker rights, while other have come together to bring about peace in their community.  There are spiritual reasons, social reasons, and economic reasons why these groups have formed.  Overwhelmingly, interfaith groups were established based on a particular shared need or concern.

All of these groups have had to overcome differences of some sort.  Some have had to overcome simple things like agreeing on a type of food to serve or selecting the day of the week to hold an event that is acceptable to all faiths.   Their definition of interfaith varies as well.  Some groups are more ecumenical but they too have had to overcome differences in order to work together.   For some groups, just working with another congregation within their religion is a huge step and that is where their interfaith begins.  They are breaking down barriers within their religion that have existed for many generations and still exist in some parts of the world.  Some groups have been able to go beyond the borders of Christianity or Islam or Judaism and have been able to branch out across many faiths.  They have learned to respect one another and build a relationship with one another.  They have found commonalities that they share, namely their passion and concern for humanity.   

Our project through the Brueggeman Center was to identify these groups and learn about them.  But upon doing so, we found that these groups can benefit by communicating with each other.    We hope that by building InterfaithCincy.org, these groups can begin to learn from one another, share their ideas, and support one another.  Each group has an amazing potential to expand their goals and reach beyond their expectations.   We have found that a group that has been running a food pantry can share with the group that is just beginning a food pantry.  We have found that a group that has been dealing with a very diverse interfaith group can help those who may be struggling to dialogue within their group.  When the groups were interviewed on their greatest successes, they each replied that their greatest success happens when they plan together.  When they work together they can achieve amazing things.  When a building is needed for a community food pantry, one congregation may not have the solution, but as they plan together, the opportunity appears.   When a community of women come together to create a cultural extravaganza is comes with great success because they come to it with openness that was never there before.  

There are amazing things happening in Cincinnati through interfaith work.  It is a power so strong and something so special about it that could not exist without the differences and uniqueness of the people involved.  These groups have realized that yes, they are so different, but they can do so many amazing things together.  When we participate together, we create this new environment that was never there before.